With Love in my Heart

Last Thursday I got some bad news that really threw me for a loop. On top of that, I have some pretty big stuff going on in my personal life so it was a tough blow. I tried everything in my yoga toolbox to get back into alignment and I when I had to teach my 5:30 class that day I think I did ok, but definitely didn’t feel like I delivered my best. I stuffed my emotions and just pushed through it. 
On Friday morning I woke up and again did the things I know to do to get my strength and courage back up. It was getting close to time to teach my 9am class and I was feeling pretty weak. All I could think of to do was either send people home, have someone else teach it, or show up with tears in my eyes and teach from my heart whatever I could. I thought shit; you own this place girl, be a role model and just do it. So, I lit some candles before anyone got there, sat at my alter and cried while I chanted the Hanuman Chaleesa with Krishna Das. I heard people starting to arrive and lay their mats down but knew all I could do was chant and let the tears flow. So I did. And they all just came in and started chanting with me. I knew I was baring my soul but also knew I was blessed to be receiving their love and strength by showing them my need for support. The tears eventually diminished and I slowly turned around to face them. Instantly I saw my family of students with so much love in their eyes.  Some new, some old, some souls sisters, even a soul brother I just met who gave me his Shakti strength. More tears. So finally I stood up and taught a class mostly in silence specifically to raise not only my vibration, but also theirs. We raised the roof up, did kriyas and namaskars and asanas and mudras and handstands and backbends and partner work and massaged and ended with Sufi dancing and falling down for Savasana. Rolled over and sat in a circle with smiles on our faces and gratitude for the alchemy that had occurred during the class. Together, we are so powerful, and our love can heal and soothe and awaken and pacify and strengthen and move us out and into wonderlands despite the earthly conditions of our lives. 
It took courage for me to teach that class, to be so ME, so raw, so vulnerable. But I could do it because I am so loved and because this studio is so special, people can come here (even me) and be REAL. We can laugh and cry and dream and BE. I learned it is good to be human when you have friends. It is good to show people life is not always easy. It is good to let yourself be loved and supported and held. It is good because now they all know they can come to class when the going is rough and let themselves be supported by me next time.  
We all left there with a luminous heart and a radiant spirit, and I knew there’d be magic in store for us all that day.  
Thank you to all those who were there with me on that day. And thanks to all who are always there for others in this kind of way. Its good to be human. Show all your colors, and let yourself be held.